This is just as ridiculous as it sounds.

People have a lot of questions when I say that I do Olympic weightlifting as part of my exercise routine. It usually starts with "OH WOW!!! You're going to/want to go to/have been to the OLYMPICS?!!!??!"

No.

For those who are unfamiliar, Olympic weightlifters train  two lifts, where the athlete takes a loaded barbell from the ground to overhead. These two lifts are referred to as the snatch and the clean and jerk.

There are lots of reason WHY I like to train these lifts, and none of them have anything to do with competing in the Olympics. These movements have helped me with my balance, posture, speed, flexibility, power, explosiveness, and of course, overall strength.

For the snatch, you essentially have to take a barbell, from the floor, grab it, jump up with it, and pull it into the air, all while maintaining a position that will allow you to catch the bar over your head in a squat position before you stand up with it overhead. 

For the clean and jerk, you grab that barbell (typically heavier than in the snatch unless you're like one lifter I know) from the floor, jump up with it and catch it in front of you in a squat position, stand up with it resting on your front rack position, and then from that rack position, jump up and take it from the rack to overhead in one motion, sometimes splitting your legs apart to get under it, some times not.  

I will now refer you to some Lidia Valentin (-75kg weightlifting diva from Spain) to demonstrate: 

Lidia Valentin in slooooow mooooootion 

It's art. It's high stakes ballet. IT'S SCARY AS $#%&.

Sure they are physically demanding, but as my coach tells me pretty much every time I see him, they are mentally tough. For me, I have much more raw strength and power than the numbers on my lifts demonstrate because my brain screws me up all the time. If you watched every a little bit of the video linked above, you'll see why. AND THOSE LIFTS ARE IN SLOW MOTION.

In the blink of an eye, and with all the conviction you can muster, you have to get down under that bad boy. This is where the wheels come off the wagon for me a lot of the time, especially in the snatch. It goes against thousands of years of of the evolutionary biology. You get out of the way when heavy things are thrown over your head. How do you combat that? I've derived an approach, both from my own experience and watching some amazing athletes: 

Three parts confidence, one part strength, one part blatant disregard for gravity, and one part cat-like reflexes to get out of the way when if it goes awry.

In real time: Lidia in real time

That's it. I've decided- instead of telling people that I train in Olympic weightlifting, I am going to say that I regularly fight epic battles against gravity, in my mind via my muscles, so I don't drop that barbell on myself. 

Hard.

That sounds way cooler. 

Taste the rainbow.

Back by popular demand...

I am starting a fresh diet and exercise routine (Paleo/Whole30 with some light intermittent fasting coupled with a 1-2 days of low impact cardio on top of my usually 3x a week lifting routine).. and thought I'd revive this blog, as it was a great way for me to motivate myself into sustaining some better health and wellness habits.

Anyhoo, I mentioned my fitness reboot to a few people and most were supportive. However, I found one person's response quite annoying. This person is someone who seems to have time for everyone else but me, but when they finally get around to it and ask how life is going with me, I tell them about my plans to get my ass in gear, the first thing they say is "WELL BE CAREFUL. I'M WORRIED ABOUT THIS APPROACH." Mind you, this person has complained to me a lot about feeling tired and overweight and hasn't done a thing about it.

I had to bite my tongue, but I realized, why?

As someone who has been heavy pretty much all their life, you would think that trying to be healthier would be met with less negativity. No wonder fat people don't like to talk about what it's like to get healthier. What, are we just expected to find the magic fitness and nutrition bullet on the first try? Take into account everyone's opinions (and we all know what they say about opinions) and be graceful and appreciative of the collective wisdom that people force upon you? Not this chubby. I've tried a lot of stuff, and only one thing has ever REALLY gotten me to see results; and by results, I mean increased stamina and strength with better sleep and overall mental clarity.

What I'm going to be doing starting tomorrow.

So next time someone tells you what they are trying to do to better themselves, whether mentally, physically, spiritually, etc., think before you throw in your unsolicited two cents.

Boom.

It's good to be back.

2013 -- A Roller Coaster Year

Winter -

The year started off pretty well; moving back home to Maryland for a job that put me in a room with some of the smartest, most thoughtful people I have ever worked with, being close to my family and friends, and getting into the home stretch with my master's program, these are all things to be celebrated.

Spring - 

It usually takes me about 3 months to feel like I have some sort of mastery of a task, job, activity, routine. This was the case with getting back into the groove of living on the East coast, but my job was still challenging and rewarding. I started to think about what my next project would be after I finished my master's, and I decided getting back into shape was at the top of the list.

Summer - 

Enter Cross Fit. The activity that made the second half of the year even better than the first. The people I've met, the inner physical and mental strength I've found, the way I feel about how I look, all of these things are priceless. To think that I sort of stumbled upon this community of people that helped me realize my own potential in ways I never imagined made me realize that sometimes you have to put yourself out there and never look back; you'll be rewarded, and I've made friends that I know I'll have for years to come. That's not easy to do once you hit a certain age, when your built in school and work networks are getting married, having kids, and are generally in a different life stage than you are.

Fall -

Degree: DONE. Goals: IN PROGRESS. Work: Going amazingly well.

I did my first Whole30, and that was life changing as well. I learned so much about how my body responds to certain foods, how I can feel better, not just look better, by being strict about what I put in it. I can't wait to do another one in January 2014.

Enter Kathryn Gracemarie Beaver. And I, of course, was at my sister's house when her water broke and I got to take care of my not-quite-two-year-old nephew EJ, much to the chagrin of my family, who knows how much I detested babysitting when I was younger.

My little niece who decided she couldn't wait any longer to be part of the action and was born early. Very early. She's a fighter, and even at just about 3ish weeks old, she has taught me so much. She's taught me to be patient, to not take anyone or anything for granted, to take each day as it comes, and that just because you have some downs, doesn't mean that your ups aren't just around the corner.

As 2014 rolls in, I am more positive than ever. I am excited to see what the next year has in store for all of my friends and family, and I recognize that in order to be the best friend, sister, daughter, and colleague that I can be, I need to take care of myself physically and mentally, and I look forward to being a positive part of 2014.

Happy New Year everyone!!

"I believe that my life's gonna see
The love I give
Return to me"

Life happens when you're busy trying to lose weight

I feel like a slight recap of the last few weeks is in order so that folks know why I've been missing in action.

1. I did not win my box's Whole30 challenge, but that being said, I've lost about 20lbs since mid October and I know that this is not a sprint for me, but a lifelong change. After a few days on and off the wagon, I am back on, and planning a Whole30 friendly Christmas meal with my family that would make the most discerning palate jealous.
2. My older sister, the day after Thanksgiving, was hospitalized because her water broke. She was just about 25 weeks pregnant, and was planning to be in the hospital on bed rest until she delivered. This happened to be a much shorter time period that we were all planning (and hoping) for, as she delivered my niece, Kathryn (Katy) Gracemarie Beaver at 25 weeks and 5 days. Katy continues to defy expectations, as she is taking 10cc of breast milk, breathing, peeing, pooping, and wiggling around on her own. My sister held her for the first time today and we keep sending positive thoughts her way. Our Christmas will be a little different this year, as I think we are all a bit more thankful for our health and wellbeing given this little bundle of joy's early arrival.
3. I had a massive chest cold that precluded me from doing much in the way of socializing. It definitely meant I couldn't see my sister or my new niece until I was better, but seeing as I am almost officially "well" I am looking forward to spending time with all of them this Christmas.

Given all of the hub bub in my life as of late, I think you can all understand why I haven't written much. But I was inspired to write today, and so here I am, thinking about the passage of time, the frailty of life, and how I need to make sure that I am healthy and happy, mentally and physically, for the people around me.

Some softy I know posted this earlier this week, and it got me thinking:

I realize that I need to take care of myself for the long term. As much as I might want to binge on sugar and wine and bread, justifying it all because it's the holidays and I "deserve it" that is a bullshit excuse. I deserve to feel amazing, to eat good food that nourishes me, and to finally look outside the way I feel inside. 

2014 is going to be the year of self love and self acceptance, with the idea that if I take care of myself, I'll be a better friend, sister, daughter, lover, and coworker to those around me. I am not very motivated to do things for myself, but when I frame it in this way, that I am doing it to be a better person for others, somehow it makes me want to commit to it more. I'm hoping in time I reconcile all of this, but for now, I'm riding this wave.

Happy Holidays all.  May you lift heavy and laugh hard in 2014!

Guns.

You asked for it.

Here they are.

Nevermind the asshole making the faces above said guns.

You're welcome.

Scared and excited

I am going to San Diego for work next week, and in an attempt to stay on the Whole30 and exercise bandwagons, I have contacted a box in San Diego, about 3 miles from my hotel, about dropping in to do 1-2 workouts (Monday and Wednesday).

Did I mention this box was pretty major?

For those of you not in the know, Invictus CrossFit is a pretty major CrossFit box with a specific competition schedule and workout group, sent a bunch of people to the CrossFit games (team and individual) to compete. They were that sea of emerald green in the audience going nuts during every event.

I think I bit off more than I can chew.

I am still struggling with all of the things that I can't do and I want to make sure that I represent CFSS well. And while I'm scared at all of the things I might have to scale, or how much I might look like an ass as a result of this workout, I think it's an awesome (AND FREE) opportunity that I have to take advantage of.

So if this time next week my ego and body are a bit bruised, I think I'll be the better for it. And at the very least, hopefully it'll keep inspiring me to make myself better.