Guns.

You asked for it.

Here they are.

Nevermind the asshole making the faces above said guns.

You're welcome.

Scared and excited

I am going to San Diego for work next week, and in an attempt to stay on the Whole30 and exercise bandwagons, I have contacted a box in San Diego, about 3 miles from my hotel, about dropping in to do 1-2 workouts (Monday and Wednesday).

Did I mention this box was pretty major?

For those of you not in the know, Invictus CrossFit is a pretty major CrossFit box with a specific competition schedule and workout group, sent a bunch of people to the CrossFit games (team and individual) to compete. They were that sea of emerald green in the audience going nuts during every event.

I think I bit off more than I can chew.

I am still struggling with all of the things that I can't do and I want to make sure that I represent CFSS well. And while I'm scared at all of the things I might have to scale, or how much I might look like an ass as a result of this workout, I think it's an awesome (AND FREE) opportunity that I have to take advantage of.

So if this time next week my ego and body are a bit bruised, I think I'll be the better for it. And at the very least, hopefully it'll keep inspiring me to make myself better.

30 for 30: Whole30 Edition

There were a lot of benefits from doing a Whole30. I definitely plan on doing another one soon, and trying to keep eating clean as much as possible in the mean time That being said, here are some of the things I learned/noticed/encountered over the last 30 days:

1. There are haters: there are people who are going to think the regimen you are on is ridiculous and unsustainable. They are right. But the building blocks of this diet are what gives it power. You see changes, sometimes drastic changes, in the way your body looks and feels, and the way you deal with cravings, temptation, at the like. And that sort of awareness is always a positive thing.
2. There are participators: there are people who will be 140% supportive of your goal . These are probably the same people who are positive and supportive the other 335 days out of the year. Use them as a resource, as motivation, and most of all, as guinea pigs for your new recipes.
3. There are couldn't care less-ers: these folks don't have any interest in hearing about what you're doing, how you're doing, or why you're doing it. They will continue to live in their processed food haze and pretend like you're not doing anything different. Until they see you lost 16.6 pounds in 30 days. And then you say TAKE THAT. Politely, of course.
4. Wheat makes your belly swell: I have had a belly forever. I hold most of my weight right in the middle, with relatively small (for my weight) arms and legs. Whole30 has been the only diet that attacked that issue in a way that I could see outwardly very quickly. 
5. You can make an excuse for anything: I made it through a wedding, a birthday outing at a club, and my own birthday without cheating. No cake. No booze. No dairy. No excuses. If you decide to do it, you're gonna do it. Otherwise you're cheating yourself and will always wonder "what if I hadn't eaten that?" 
6. I really do love to cook: I learned, with a lot of help from my friends and a few Whole30 compliant cookbooks (Well Fed and Well Fed 2), that I do love to cook. I've found ways to plan my meals so that I don't have to do a terrible amount of cooking during the week (and when I do, there is typically a crockpot involved or 20 minutes in the oven), and I am eating good, nourishing, tasty food. That's pretty damn satisfying.
7. Good meat and produce are expensive: I didn't even go the Whole Foods route. I stuck to things like Washington's Green Grocer deliveries, MOM's (MyOrganicMarket), and conventional meat from the grocery store, taking care to find all natural meat, and it was still expensive. That being said, it's cheaper than eating out all the time and feeling like crap. But I had to repeat that to myself every time I was at the checkout counter of the grocery store. 
8. My joints are less sore: I have had achilles and ankle problems for a while, and I noticed that I am much less stiff and swollen in these areas that in recent months. Bonus for sure.
9. I get less sleep but have more energy: I can't tell you how many times I had every intention of sleeping in but my body was not interested. It had all the rest it needed and was raring to go. My mind as well. It was nice on the week days, but annoying on the weekends. A small price to pay for mental and physical energy I suppose.
10. My vision has improved. It's sharper and colors seem brighter: correlation? No idea. But I noticed it.
11. Mental focus at work is better than ever: I can multitask like a maniac, but even this has improved over the past 30 days. I am able to retain information better and have noticed that I am generally less stressed out, even though professionally, life is BLOWING UP. 
12. Mental focus at the gym is also awesome: I can do more for longer. I don't get as fatigued and I am more aware of where my body is sore, stiff, loose, etc. 
13. Putting your adventure out there inspires people, even if they never tell you: I had a lot of people tell me that I have inspired them to do things they wouldn't normally do, like make their own almond butter, or start their own Whole30. I am hesitant to put a lot of myself out there but 
14. Don't put as much value on weight and size: I get that this is difficult, and I did weigh myself even though you're not supposed to, but that was because my pants were FALLING OFF and I needed to know. Just go with what makes you feel awesome, and if you think about it, eating garbage feels good at the time, but you pay for it later.
15. Understanding how to continue this program long term is hard: I feel like I might have some sort of Whole30 OCD or eating disorder because I went to the grocery store last night and wanted to get myself a single serving of birthday cake for tomorrow when I am giving myself a cheat day, and I couldn't do it because I was scared that it would undo EVERYTHING I've done the last 30 days. This all or nothing thinking sinks diets. I have decided that I will give myself a cheat meal/day every few weeks to stay sane, knowing that the cheats need to be "worth it." Soda because I want one = not worth it. Decadent chocolate dessert at a gourmet restaurant = worth it.
16. Temptation is everywhere. Be prepared for it: It is a side bar to #5, I know, but it bears repeating. You know when you're going out, or going to be surrounded by people who may not be the best influences. Eat beforehand, bring a snack, drink a mock-tail (seltzer and lime is my favorite) to avoid the whole "WHY AREN'T YOU DRINKING" questions, research the menu ahead of time, etc. 
17. This is easier to do when you have a group of people that understand what you are doing (#2 part 2): Find a buddy, whether it be via online Whole30 forums, someone who you know that is also interested in this sort of eating, even if it's not as strict as you're planning to do, that sort of thing. It helps to have someone on call when you're in the grocery store surrounded by everything you can't eat to keep you focused. 
18. You don't need to eat as much as you thought you did: Eating less processed foods means your body actually has to PROCESS them and break them into parts you can use, right? That means you stay fuller longer. Right?
19. Whole30 in the summer is probably pretty awesome because of the fresh produce: No explanation needed. Local and seasonal is great, but I can only eat so many sweet potatoes and greens.
20. If you are a lady, your lady cycle will change: I am all over the map in this area. Hopefully it will settle down or I'm going to just stand in front of the microwave and hope that it helps. 
21. I am in a much better mood all around: "Oh but MB you are so positive!" Not all the time kids. I've noticed less irritability and better mood regulation overall.
22. You get the chance to redefine what a "treat" is: A treat isn't something that you let yourself have regularly. It's something rare and decadent and enjoyable. If it doesn't fit that description, then it's not a treat; it's just crap that you eat. 
23. Don't underestimate the power of text messaging when you feel like you're gonna veer off course: Again - If you feel tempted REACH OUT. Someone will talk you down off the ledge if they are part of the group mentioned in #2.
24. My skin is much clearer: No sugar and lots of water means less zits. 
25. My nails are stronger and hair is shinier: Less sugar and more good, whole protein means your hair will rival the mane of a My Little Pony. True story.
26. Changing your paradigm every now and then is good for the mind, body and soul: Challenging yourself to do something is so much more fulfilling when you actually complete your goal. It gives you the confidence to do other things in your life you might not have thought possible. 
27. I am more in tune with when I am hungry vs. thirsty: Think you are hungry? DRINK MORE WATER. Wait 30 minutes. Reevaluate. I realized that coming home from the gym and eating wasn't about being hungry at all. I was thirsty, and the eating part came out of habit, and that's why I wasn't satisfied after I ate at that time of the evening. 
28. Don't let anyone tell you what you should or shouldn't do: As a general rule, I give people a shot when they have advice for me, but let me tell you, there are some crazy theories running around and you have to decide what lifestyle choices work for you. Don't be afraid to go your own way.
29. Eating, like anything, is a habit. Make it a positive one: You have to eat. Make eating about not just the consuming, but the planning, the preparation, and the way your body feels after eating. If you think about the ritual of eating, you take the time to appreciate your food and not just scarf it down.
30. As this ended the day after my birthday, I realize that this Whole30 was the best gift I could have given myself.

16+ pounds down and a new attitude. Whole30 MIC DROP!

BEFORE:

AFTER:

Demand More of Yourself

I saw this quote in 10 foot tall (ok, maybe 5 foot tall) letters Saturday morning at CrossFit Rubicon.

It was inspiring, sure, but what I saw going on in front of the wall with that catch phrase was what really inspired me.

Just look at this. Let this sink in for a second. A woman, pulling a weighted sled, with the heart of a lion. Look loser...

See the crutches? She has cerebral palsy. 

Now, what was your excuse for not pushing yourself harder today at work or the gym? 

Fear of failure/looking like an ass/not being the best?

I'll tell you what your excuses are; they are the same as mine. They. are. all. bull. shit. 

I was at CrossFit Rubicon for the 2nd annual Working Wounded Games. What is this event you ask?

This is the first CrossFit styled competitions that level the playing field for severely wounded veterans and permanently injured civilians. So all the crap that I do on a daily basis, but modified (and sometimes not even modified) so that individuals with CP, vision problems, prosthetics, spinal and brain injuries, can participate in CrossFit.

I was expecting to be inspired, but I had no idea how emotional the experience would be. The energy, the cheering, and the sheer looks of determination on the faces of the athletes are all things that will stick with me for a long, long time. It showed me the resilience of the human spirit, and how kind and fiercely supportive people can be of each other, even when competing. It gave me faith in the human race again, and I'm not trying for hyperbole. It made me want to find a way to support this cause. We'll see what happens on that front...

I didn't think that a sporting event could be emotional. If seeing someone with 2 prosthetic legs doing wall climbs, a man whole could barely walk down the stairs to the entrance of the box doing an AMRAP of burpees and power cleans, or a woman who requires crutches to walk pulling a sled and doing dumbbell snatches with tenacity, patience, and PRIDE... doesn't affect you emotionally.. I don't think I want to know you. 

With twice as many participants as last year, this is an event that will just get bigger and better as the years pass. I can't wait to go next year.

Breaking up with food / haters gonna hate.

Ok. To be fair we haven't broken up, but we're taking a break.

Taking a break from the insane crashes, the insatiable cravings, eating because I'm bored/sad/lonely/thing I'm hungry but I'm really thirsty/my friends are eating and all of the other excuses that we give ourselves to shove less than ideal stuff into our face holes.

I'm done.

It's not you, it's me.

As per usual, our brain tells us that we need things we don't need, and food is no exception. Since we all have to eat, food is one of the hardest things to keep under control. As someone who could fall into the category of "emotional eater" I have learned over the last few weeks to dissociate hunger from emotion. Eat when your body tells you, but when you think you should eat, or just because you want to eat. You'd be surprised at how often you're snacking mindlessly just because you think it's snack time or because you're bored and it's something to do during commercial breaks.

Don't get me wrong, temptations are everywhere! I went to a baby shower where there were sandwiches and cakes aplenty, but I resisted. People often blame their lack of self control on their circumstances, but your brain is a force to be reckoned with. You can't always hibernate and sequester yourself from the foods that you know are delicious but not on the plan. You have to redefine what food means to you, and find a way to make what you NEED to eat taste like something you WANT to eat.

Sometimes you have to know what to do when you DO encounter roadblocks or situations where you might not be able to make/bring your own food. Do your planning before you go to a restaurant, ask what is in a dish before you order it so you can modify it, and go in with a plan.

All that being said, be prepared for the human reactions to all those requests; people are not always as supportive as you'd think when you tell them you're on an eating plan (I refuse to say diet now) that is really working for you and you want to stick to it. Sometimes it's just people trying to validate their own poor choices; other times people don't realize you can have good time without a cocktail in your hand or a tasty treat on your plate (Note: as any of my friends/gym folks will tell you, I needn't have alcohol to dance or sing like a maniac, so I really have no excuse).

So, in the immortal words of the Avett Brothers: Decide what to be and go be it.

Vanity, thy name is woman!

First of all, I will refer to you Wale's song "Vanity" because I love a good local hip hop artist: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_1gPLeQxJuo and this young squire hails from the bustling hip hop capital of Gaithersburg, MD. Also his jam "Chillin" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZLQ8HHLzL8 for the DC/PG shout out. 

I digress...

No one talks about the paranoia that starts to set in once you see REAL success with a diet and exercise program. I tend to be an all or nothing/black and white thinker, and that is most definitely applicable to wellness. I feel like if I put one pinky toe out of line, if I have one piece of cake for someone's birthday, one chip with onion dip, I will put all the weight back on that I've worked so hard to lose. Does that make me vain? Overly self critical? Am I really that vain that I think that how I look on the outside will make that much of a difference as to how people perceive me? My shape has always been one of the things I have never REALLY been able to control. I'm sure that feeds into my type A nature in all of the other areas of my life, and being a constant perfectionist.

Complacency has always been my enemy. In school, work, the gym, life, love, you name it. I try to be the best at everything I do. But my body has never really fallen into line with the rest of things.

I lost somewhere in the neighborhood of 70lbs a few years back and it was ridiculous. I never felt so amazing, inside and out, and slowly, I became complacent and it all came back. And that is what I am deathly afraid of.

After doing Whole30 for a grand total of 11 days, I am starting to realize that if I really want to achieve my fitness and sexiness goals, I am going to have to follow this diet, more or less, for the rest of my life, and I find myself mourning the loss of my good friends Mr. Carbs and Dr. Dairy.

I will miss them.

Food is so emotional, which is why people get addicted to eating and are obese. I am not one for being overly sentimental, but there are definitely foods that bring me comfort and that, when I'm having a bad day, I think about eating. I am more emotionally attached to food than I am to most of the stuff that I own. I think breaking that emotional attachment to food is what Whole30 has really started to do for me. Food is really fuel. I need to maximize the food equation in my head: food = (nutrition)^flavor.

On a rare occasion, food can be about emotion; I mean, I'll be damned if I don't get attached to that Thanksgiving turkey or that ever delightful mountain of stuffing I plan on consuming, but that is special food for a special day. I need to remember that enjoying that food is just as much about the taste as it is about being in a certain place and time with family and friends, and that latter part is what I should focus on more than the food. But.. if I keep my act together long term, big picture, with my eating and exercise, I can totally enjoy the occasional devil cup cake, cocktail, bowl of pasta or other treat. I just have to create a new, stricter definition of what a treat is:

Treat (n): something that is pleasing to eat because it is rare or a luxury. 

Well damn Merriam Webster, I guess you kinda hit the nail on the head with that definition. Works for me.

Whole 30 - Days something through 8

I have been doing sort of extreme Whole30, as I call it. Super Paleo. The whole "don't eat when it isn't light out" kind of thing has been tough, but I've been following it, except when feeling like I'm going to pass out due to hunger after the gym. Even then, I have a half of an avocado or a few bites of a chicken thigh and a ton of water to make sure that my metabolism keeps working through the dark hours.

It's been tough. It has been especially tough because I know that committing to Whole30 really means you're committing to cook 3 meals (or more) a day for 30 days. I was lucky enough to get my new Whole30 compliant (less 2 recipes) cookbook in the mail on Day 4 of my challenge, and that has inspired me to try all sorts of new things that I wouldn't normally eat or cook.

I can see a difference in my body, particularly in my midsection, in how often I get hungry, that sort of thing, but the biggest difference has been the quality of my sleep. I don't lay there awake calculating "if I go to sleep now I can still get... hours" like I used to. I sleep solidly for 8 hours and I wake up feeling rested and refreshed. Because I didn't drink caffeine but once in a blue moon, and I exercise regularly and intensely, I am used to feeling tired at a normal hour, so I was surprised that this was the area where I saw the first big change. I think it really has to do with the overall lack of sugar and the fact that my body has digested my last meal of the day far before I go to bed, and all that stomach work can keep you awake. 

I know I am not supposed to weigh myself during this 30 day challenge, but I couldn't help it. Over the weekend, I stepped on the scale and... was blown away. 8 pounds! 8 POUNDS! That is ridiculous, particularly for someone who has been working out ferociously for months and not seeing anything on the scale. 

This all drives the point home that what you do at the table counts just as much, if not more so, as what you do in the gym. 

Maybe I'll do a Whole60. Who knows? I know a couple of folks who are crazy enough to do it with me, and if I continue to feel this good and slim down this much, I'd be crazy not to try.

Aside from a potential cheat day between cycles (I am going to need some cheese) and on Thanksgiving (I am going to need stuffing), I might do a Whole60. Which means I'll be on this ride until December 12.

Let the amazing sleep CONTINUE

http://www.theclothesmakethegirl.com/2012/12/30/30-reasons-whole30/