First of all, I will refer to you Wale's song "Vanity" because I love a good local hip hop artist: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_1gPLeQxJuo and this young squire hails from the bustling hip hop capital of Gaithersburg, MD. Also his jam "Chillin" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZLQ8HHLzL8 for the DC/PG shout out.
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I digress...
No one talks about the paranoia that starts to set in once you see REAL success with a diet and exercise program. I tend to be an all or nothing/black and white thinker, and that is most definitely applicable to wellness. I feel like if I put one pinky toe out of line, if I have one piece of cake for someone's birthday, one chip with onion dip, I will put all the weight back on that I've worked so hard to lose. Does that make me vain? Overly self critical? Am I really that vain that I think that how I look on the outside will make that much of a difference as to how people perceive me? My shape has always been one of the things I have never REALLY been able to control. I'm sure that feeds into my type A nature in all of the other areas of my life, and being a constant perfectionist.
Complacency has always been my enemy. In school, work, the gym, life, love, you name it. I try to be the best at everything I do. But my body has never really fallen into line with the rest of things.
I lost somewhere in the neighborhood of 70lbs a few years back and it was ridiculous. I never felt so amazing, inside and out, and slowly, I became complacent and it all came back. And that is what I am deathly afraid of.
After doing Whole30 for a grand total of 11 days, I am starting to realize that if I really want to achieve my fitness and sexiness goals, I am going to have to follow this diet, more or less, for the rest of my life, and I find myself mourning the loss of my good friends Mr. Carbs and Dr. Dairy.
I will miss them.
Food is so emotional, which is why people get addicted to eating and are obese. I am not one for being overly sentimental, but there are definitely foods that bring me comfort and that, when I'm having a bad day, I think about eating. I am more emotionally attached to food than I am to most of the stuff that I own. I think breaking that emotional attachment to food is what Whole30 has really started to do for me. Food is really fuel. I need to maximize the food equation in my head: food = (nutrition)^flavor.
On a rare occasion, food can be about emotion; I mean, I'll be damned if I don't get attached to that Thanksgiving turkey or that ever delightful mountain of stuffing I plan on consuming, but that is special food for a special day. I need to remember that enjoying that food is just as much about the taste as it is about being in a certain place and time with family and friends, and that latter part is what I should focus on more than the food. But.. if I keep my act together long term, big picture, with my eating and exercise, I can totally enjoy the occasional devil cup cake, cocktail, bowl of pasta or other treat. I just have to create a new, stricter definition of what a treat is:
Treat (n): something that is pleasing to eat because it is rare or a luxury.
Well damn Merriam Webster, I guess you kinda hit the nail on the head with that definition. Works for me.
I totally know what you mean. I'm trying to pretend like I already have a baby in my belly and think "WOULD YOU REALLY PUT THAT IN YOUR HEAD HOLE IF THERE WAS A BABY IN YOU?" and most of the time I put down the cheese and pick up the kale. It's not about perfection though. I know what you mean by that one chip or one piece of cake that can get you into that "well I've already failed so I might as well eat these four pizzas" mode. You're doing fantastic MBK. Keep it up!
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