Pep Talk

Why is it that relative strangers are easier to believe when they tell you to keep going, that you're doing great, and to not give up? Why is it such a challenge to do this for ourselves? 

While this is probably one of life's great mysteries, slowly but surely I am learning to cut myself some slack and, at the same time, give myself credit for the amazing things I've done. It took a Facebook message from a friend of a friend I had met a few times who has been following my blog from her new home in Germany for me to realize that I am being entirely too hard on myself.

So what if you're sore? You're human.

So what if you're tired? You've done a lot.

So what if you're frustrated? So is EVERYONE.

She helped me get my mindset back to reality, and reminded me that only I know what my limits are, and that I am an inspiration to a lot of people in and out of the gym. And it has nothing to do with how much I can lift, how fast I am, or what size my gym clothes are. 

It's because I'm fearless.

I went into this whole Cross Fit thing because I knew that I could change my brain and my body if I just didn't think about it too much. Taking a few days off, while necessary to get my body back into fighting shape, also made me feel like my mental edge was suffering from a bit of atrophy, which reared it's ugly head yesterday during the Ridiculous Obstacle Challenge I completed with a friend of mine. I am not a runner, and with my Achilles issues, I shouldn't even try to run, but I felt compelled to jog at the beginning because I didn't want people to go by me and think "oh look at the chubby girl.. it's so nice that she's trying."

I am more than trying fools. I am kicking ass, but just not right now.

I almost threw in the towel around the 0.3 mile mark. But luckily I had a positive person with me, who knew that we weren't participating in this to race, but using it as an excuse to get together, do something active, and have a fun time. By the end of the race, I was all for the crazy obstacles, slides, slip n slides, swings, etc. Because I didn't get caught up in the me vs. everyone else bullshit, and that is what has served me so well thus far in Cross Fit. Once that music gets pumping and the WOD gets started, everyone is too busy trying to suck in oxygen to give a crap about what I am doing, and that's how I like it. Let me focus on me, and I will put up awesome numbers. Again, that stupid mental game is the toughest thing to master. 

So I am back at Cross Fit this week, armed with a few new tools in my tool box to help me recover 1 ankle ice/heat pack, 2 Strassburg socks to help with my chronically tight feet and calves, and a doctor's appointment to see about an orthotic. Until the appointment, I am going to actively ask my coaches what I can do that will alleviate stress on my sore joints but still kick my ass. Necessity is the mother of invention, and maybe these modifications are what I need to make other parts of my body and my mind stronger.

I'll close by saying this: Be inspired by those who don't give up even when they want to.